Couples Therapy in Oakland and Throughout California
You Can Love Each Other Deeply and Still Feel Disconnected
Even successful, high-functioning couples can feel completely disconnected from each other. You may be juggling demanding careers, parenting, family responsibilities, and the pressure to hold everything together while quietly feeling more alone in your relationship.
I offer online couples therapy throughout California for couples wanting to better understand each other, navigate differences, and create a relationship that feels more connected and authentic to both of you.
You Care About Each Other. So Why Does This Feel So Hard?
Maybe one of you feels unseen or unsupported. Maybe you've stopped talking about the things that hurt because you already know where the conversation will go. Over time, stress can replace intimacy, communication can become reactive or avoidant, and resentment can build. Whether you're navigating emotional distance, betrayal, infidelity, or years of unresolved conflict, you may find yourself wondering how you got here and whether things can actually feel different.
Online couples therapy in California gives you a space to slow down, get curious about what’s happening between you, and begin creating something different together.
You Don't Have to Keep Having the Same Conversation
You've talked about it. You've argued about it. You've promised to do better. Maybe you've even had the same conversation so many times that you've stopped bringing it up altogether.
Therapy can help you understand why you keep ending up in the same place and create a different way of responding to each other.
Together, we can explore:
What happens beneath the conflict
The needs that aren't being expressed
Patterns that keep you disconnected
How each of you experiences the relationship
What helps you feel seen, heard, respected, and chosen
How to communicate without losing yourself
What you want your relationship to feel like moving forward
Rebuild. Retrust & RECONNECT
You might be navigating:
Communication & Conflict
The same arguments • Feeling unheard or misunderstood • Difficulty communicating what you need • Conflict that never seems to get resolved
Connection & Intimacy
Feeling disconnected • Feeling more like roommates • Emotional distance • Changes in intimacy • Feeling unwanted or undesired
Trust & Relationship Challenges
Betrayal • Rebuilding trust • Resentment • Major life transitions • Financial stress • Feeling stuck in the same patterns
Identity & Relationship Differences
Interracial or intercultural relationships • Queer relationships • ENM • Different values, needs, or expectations
You may care deeply about each other and still feel like you're struggling to find your way back to one another.
Relationships Need Both Connection and Autonomy
Being in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process. It means being able to stay connected to your partner while also staying connected to yourself. Having a sense of your own agency, knowing what you need and desire, and feeling like you can be fully yourself are all part of creating a relationship that works for both of you.
Who am I in this relationship?
What do I need?
What do I desire?
These questions can help you understand yourself more clearly and create a relationship where both people have room to be honest, vulnerable, connected, and fully themselves.
online couples therapy in California
Who it’s for: You love each other, but something has shifted. You’re navigating changes in intimacy and sex, trust, finances, parenting, family, or the future you’re building together. You want to understand each other differently, break out of patterns that keep you stuck, and feel more connected in your relationship.
I believe couples therapy is about more than learning how to communicate better. It’s about understanding what happens between you, creating space for both partners to feel seen and heard, and learning how to respond to each other differently. Together, we’ll explore the patterns that keep you disconnected and work toward a relationship where you both feel valued, understood, desired, and chosen.
What’s included: 50-minute virtual couples therapy sessions held weekly at a consistent time. Sessions are collaborative and tailored to your relationship, with space to work through communication, conflict, emotional connection, intimacy, sexuality, trust, finances, parenting, and the everyday challenges that can make it difficult to feel close.
FAQs
How do I know if couples therapy is right for us?
1
If you feel disconnected, stuck in the same patterns, struggling with intimacy, or finding it difficult to communicate, couples therapy can help. You don't have to wait until your relationship is in crisis, many couples come to therapy because they want to strengthen their relationship and reconnect before things get worse.
How often should we attend couples therapy?
2
Most couples begin with weekly sessions to build momentum and create meaningful change. As you make progress, we can adjust the frequency based on your goals and what feels most supportive for your relationship.
Can couples therapy help if we're always fighting?
3
Yes. Conflict isn't the problem, it's often a sign that something deeper needs attention. Together, we'll explore the patterns underneath the conflict, strengthen communication, and help you move from reacting to responding with greater understanding and intention.
Can therapy help if we're considering separation?
4
Absolutely. Therapy can provide a space to slow things down, gain clarity, and have honest conversations about your relationship. Whether your goal is to reconnect or separate with care and respect, I'm here to support you without judgment.
Do you support ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and polyamorous relationships?
5
Yes. My practice is affirming of ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, open, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships. I provide a nonjudgmental space where we can explore communication, boundaries, agreements, intimacy, and the unique strengths and challenges within your relationship.
Can therapy help us rebuild trust after infidelity?
6
Yes. Rebuilding trust takes time, honesty, and a willingness from both partners to engage in the healing process. Together, we'll explore what happened, process the impact, strengthen communication, and work toward rebuilding emotional safety, trust, and intimacy at a pace that feels right for both of you.
explore other services
sex therapy
For individuals and couples who want to explore intimacy, desire, pleasure, and their relationship with sexuality. Whether you're navigating differences in desire, difficulty talking about sex, shame, sexual confidence, or wanting to create a more fulfilling intimate connection, therapy can help you better understand yourself and your desires while building a healthier relationship with sexuality.
lgbtq+ therapy
For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples in Oakland and throughout California navigating identity, relationships, sexuality, belonging, and the unique experiences that come with moving through the world as your authentic self. Therapy provides a space to explore your experiences, strengthen your relationship with yourself, and create a life and relationships that honor who you are.